what a drive

First though, I have to explain about my scary eye. I was planting stuff and weeding on Friday and my eye started bugging me, it kind of hurt and felt like something was in it. I rubbed it and went on. A few hours later I went in the bath to look at it and… whoa!! The white part was rapidly disappearing behind blood red. I made my usual decision when faced with medical problems and I ignored it.

I quite freaked the Dodwell’s and Scott and Barb out on Sunday though when we went to this really cool underground brunch. Which, by the way, is a great idea and the food was incredible. They are going to do it once a month and if you are in Mérida, it is definitely worth it. Check out the Remixto web site.

So, this morning I went off to Star Medica to the eye doctor to see if I had leprosy of the eye or some other worse disease. No, it seems my eye is fine just suffering from an ugly, scary, halloween look. He gave me drops that he said will speed the healing but it could still take up to 3 weeks. I’m going to be scaring children and making old ladies cross themselves for that long.

So… after the doctor I waited for the plumber-who-never-shows-up and then when Alfredo felt bad and came over himself – well, the leak was no longer happening. WTF! It dripped reliably for me yesterday and the day before and I had to wash dishes in the tiny bar sink but when I have someone to show it to, not a drop! OK, just check that off the list and start packing.

By 8pm I was headed out of the city with the dogs in the back and the cats in separate carriers in the front seat. Half an hour into the three and a half hour drive , Tita starts yowling and scratching to get out and making a huge ruckus. I tried singing to her. Honest, I thought that as bad as I sing if I sang all the Fats Domino songs I know, and I think I know all of them, then she would be so appalled she would shut up. It did work for a few minutes but I guess that was just shock. How many times can this cat have heard ‘walking to New Orleans’ off key and out of tune?

Eventually I found a place to pull over and I opened her carrier. A very wet cat leaped out and onto my shoulder. She had peed… a lot. There was a small lake inside the carrier with her leash floating in it. She was now draped on my shoulder with her soaking tail and feet and wet belly. Argh!

I felt bad for her. It’s not like with kids you can say “OK, everyone go to the bathroom we’re leaving in 5 minutes”. She was so happy to be out of the pee cage that she didn’t make another sound the whole 3+ hours and she just draped around my shoulders and nuzzled my neck. I was now soaked with cat pee. I drove on.

It was very dark, half the dash lights on the truck don’t work and I can’t see the AC controls. It must be set on arctic and I couldn’t find a way to turn it down. So, I turned it off because I was freezing. Now, I’m driving along in a hot and humid truck with a cat that is sticky with pee wrapped around my throat and a pee soggy t-shirt sticking to the seat. Tita seems happy except we both jump when these huge bugs start hitting the windshield. They sounded like gravel and they left an enormous splotch. I didn’t think the windshield washer worked so I had to peer around them. It got so bad I was looking through a tiny patch of clear at the side of the windshield. Then a bat flew into me. He didn’t leave a splotch though, let’s pretend he survived hitting my windshield at 70 mph. Luckily I had my ear buds and I turned the volume way up and rocked Vicente Fernandez most of the way. I discovered that I only have 3 hours of Don Chente and I had to switch to Mariachi Vargas for the last bit.

The Eye

I take the toll road part of the way so about half way through all this I pull up at a toll booth. I roll the window down, Tita hisses at the woman toll taker from my shoulder, I turn my bloody eye on her and a wave of hot cat piss smell rolls out. As she took my money I noticed a huge beetle type bug on her shoulder. It was hard shelled and about the size of a US quarter or a 50 peso coin, not as wide but about that long. Actually, it reminded me of the bugs they sell around here as pets that they glue fake jewels on and little gold leashes – this one had no glitter and no leash.

Have you ever just not said something right away and then felt that too much time had gone by and now you can’t say anything? That’s what happened. I stared at the bug, and I didn’t say anything. I’m pretty damn sure she didn’t know that thing was on her shoulder but by the time I started feeling guilty for not telling her I realized I’d waited too long and now I couldn’t tell her. Plus, she was looking a little spooked about me – I can’t imagine why – and maybe she wouldn’t believe me or she wouldn’t understand me because it wasn’t what she expected me to say. That can happen in another language, if you stick to what they expect you to talk about they understand you but if you say something off the wall, you get the blank look. There was also the possibility that she would flick that huge ugly thing off her shoulder and it would fly in my window. I didn’t think I could add a big, ugly bug to the mix and maintain my cool. I was over the limit. So, I stared at the bug and took my change and drove off.

Several times during the drive I tried to figure out what to do when I arrived but I never got a good idea. So, about 11:30pm I pulled up in front of the condo, got Raui’s leash out of her carrier, put it on Tita and tied her to the steering wheel. Then I went around and took the carrier full of pee – sadly it had lost much of it on the seat – and put it on the steps. The dogs were going nuts in the back, they start barking when we turn into Akumal because they know where they are. I opened the back and discovered that I had forgotten to put their collars back on after I washed them this afternoon. No good deed goes unpunished. I just let them out and they ran off.

There were 2 security guards standing around, one had come from somewhere else to visit. They came over to see if I wanted help upstairs, they remember that I tip. They hauled everything up the 3 flights of stairs except Tita and the pissy cage, I carried those. I gave them 50 pesos for beer and we were all happy.

This part no one who knows Tita will believe. I filled the bathroom sink and took her in there and gave her a bath! She didn’t even fight me about it. I think she wanted all the piss off as much as I did. She got a little testy when I was drying her but I got the key parts rinsed. Then I got the cat box set up and both cats took a big dump which made me very happy that they had held it for the trip. Then me, the pissy cat carrier and the leash got in the shower and let me tell you that was one of the finest showers I’ve ever had. All my clothes are in a corner out on the deck, maybe I’ll throw them in the garbage ocean tomorrow.

…and that is the story of my drive to Akumal. I’m picking Mimi up at the Cancun airport tomorrow and hopefully I’ll have time to wash the truck seat before I go